i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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