So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
