She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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