Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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