At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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