I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
