Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
