why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
