i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
