i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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