Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Randomize
