Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
