He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
