3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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