I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
