Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
