Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Randomize
