Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
is that a dick in a sweater?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
