we're chasing vodka with high fives
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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