I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
