He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
