Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
you win again, gameday.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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