don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
