i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
