her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
