btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
