Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
