i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
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