Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
