You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize