My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
