Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Randomize
