...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
