yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
