I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
