OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
