I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
