so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
