she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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