All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
