So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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