Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize