what if every blade of grass was a penis?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
