This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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