I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
