i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
