I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
