I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
