Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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