dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
