I'm really into asian looking animals
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
She said her name was "party"
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
