i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
