So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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