I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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