Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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