I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
