sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize