I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
