Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
