I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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