I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
