I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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