Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
