WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
