I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
