suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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