the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
