She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
