i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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