We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize