White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
