He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
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