Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
