people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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